AfricaWeekly Journal

How my husband “Deacon” married his secretary out of wedlock

By Oluwaseun Sonde

The perspective may not be far fetched from what many women have suffered in the hands of men who they have trusted with all their hearts.

Many women across human societies tend to have a wild perspective of men as ‘game players’ who may be difficult to rely on when it comes to love relationship. Infidelity in relationship, particularly on the parts of men, will continue to be a source of doubt that will make many women to categorize all men as the same; in as much the trend persists.

The experience of Mrs Johnson (not real name) is a clear reflection of this. She is one of the victims of emotional trauma, who is suffering the brunt of heart-break, occasioned by the game of infidelity and gross betrayal of trust by her husband. She sobs as she gives account of her ordeal.

“I am a legally married woman with four children (three boys, one girl) and my marriage is 20 years. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria. My husband and I are Deacon and Deaconess in a church. I could say that at sight ours is a happy and blessed home.

I am not the type of woman that monitors or interferes in my husband’s business or his staff. Although I know some of the staff, It is not with much closeness. Seven years ago four Youth Corp members served at my husband’s firm but one lady among the four Corp members was later retained and employed as a secretary to the Director of the organisation, who is my husband.

My husband had told me four years ago that his Secretary wanted to have her wedding at Port Harcourt, Nigeria. I didn’t bother to go. All I knew was that, as my husband’s staff, he went with some of his friends to the wedding ceremony. Less than a year after the wedding, the Secretary gave birth to twins. I excitedly went to visit her at her home in Mataima in Abuja with gifts for the new babies.

When I asked about her husband, I was told he was out of the country. I never knew I was being fooled. January 02, 2020, the Secretary gave birth to another baby in a private hospital where my immediate sister got employed less than three months as an Accountant. It was my sister who witnessed everything that told me of the secret I never knew of.

The lady I thought was just a Secretary is actually my husband’s secret wife. The wedding, which the Secretary had in Port-Harcourt then, was between her and my husband.  The twins she gave birth to then and the new baby she just had are my husband’s children. The house where I went to visit her in Gbagada was bought and furnished for her by my own husband with a saloon car.

My husband never denied it when I confronted him. Shockingly, his parents and siblings all knew about it. I didn’t know I was in darkness for years. I am still in the shock because all is still like a dream to me. I asked him of my offense for him to have punished me this way but he said I did nothing wrong.

Could it be that he wants me to either get angry and storm out of the marriage by myself or if I choose to still remain in the marriage, I should stay back and endure this and live with him as if nothing happened? Since January 15, 2020 that the whole secret was exposed, I have been mentally sick and disturbed. At the verge of insanity! My heart is wild now, and at any time I can do and undo.

I’m currently in a state of absolute emptiness, not knowing what to do.

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